Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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