how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize