You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
