My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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