She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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