Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I look better un-naked...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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