The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
