I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
