Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this will be a night to untag.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
