I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
