i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
