Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
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