Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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