Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
