The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
