Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
