covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
