I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
