thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
