I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
