I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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