i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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