you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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