that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
