this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
