We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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