Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
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well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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