Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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