I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't deserve a penis
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
