I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
