community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
