By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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