I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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