The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sober January is a disaster.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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