I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
