I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
