...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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