just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
