3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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