This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
