I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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