I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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