Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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