My friends, they love my intelligence
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
