Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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