Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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