I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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