everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
