this just has baby written all over it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
