I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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