talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
