im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
