Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
