He is an equal opportunity slut.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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