So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
