I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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