The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
