Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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