You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
