woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
